I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize