some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
