Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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