I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
