then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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