You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You work out of a Hotel?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It's never too late to be topless.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
