Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My cat gives me a boner
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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