I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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