i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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