just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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