I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
