Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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