he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
