yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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