I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
