You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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