I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
