I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
