Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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