If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
