I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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