Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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