did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
