i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We left the knife in your bed.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
