She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
