Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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