i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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