i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
