I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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