yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
how drunk are you?
Several
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
