New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
