Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I currently don't understand fingers.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
