so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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