It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
