everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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