and you said cock pushups were impossible
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
