I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
