everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
