Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
