he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
