At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
