24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
