Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
