i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
