he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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