there's paper in my vomit.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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