haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
