Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
