You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
