It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
