Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
