what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
