Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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