im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
