Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She bit a glass in half.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
