My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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