He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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