I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
