It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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