my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Pants are for mortals
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
