just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize