All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
