i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize