i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
