You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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