i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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