you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
