go do what you do best...puke behind churches
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I have aggressive nipples.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
