Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
